When teams still struggle with old grief and when there is little confidence and vulnerability, team coaching is a good choice. That are intensive custom programmes in which team members will reconnect with each other and build on their vision, involvement, agreements, ownership and trust together.

Projections

In contrast to starlings, we have the capacity to be aware of the many thoughts, feelings, and emotions that are constantly within us. That is precisely why we need a little more for good collaboration in teams. Since whenever we are not that conscious we are inclined to project our unresolved issues onto others: ‘I feel bad, and that is your fault’; ‘I am lacking something, so others who ask for it and get it are just whiners (and those who give are wrong to do so)’; ‘I believe I am worth something because I work so terribly hard/ well, so someone who doesn’t is just a slacker/ loser.’

Vulnerability

The greatest challenge in a team therefore, is to create mutual trust. Trust in each other’s skills, and especially in each other’s intentions. “Are we striving the same thing?”; “Is the team’s interest greater than one’s individual interest?”. That kind of trust requires vulnerability. Vulnerability about your own mistakes, about your doubts, or simply about thoughts and feelings that are a bit uneasy to share. Because only then people will perceive each other as a fellow human being, and a connection is made out of equality, regardless of the differences in roles and experience.

Trust

Whenever the ego still plays a dominant role, trust is still a long way off. It is then when we see indifference, status, fear, and walls around someone. And here’s the crux. After all, at any time you can decide to trust someone by making yourself feel safe and not following your fears. That means someone else does not have to provide safety first. Especially if he or she is not able yet to do so because of his or her own projections.

Drama

When (self) confidence is fragile, the drama triangle is lurking. Within the drama triangle, everyone involved is unconsciously working out the messages: ‘I am not okay’, ‘you are not okay’, and ‘see me being okay’. Responsibility is taken nor given. These teams therefore will benefit enormously from communicating from one’s needs (non-violent communication). Vulnerability instead of harshness. Connecting feedback instead of projection.